We are coming up on the 3rd anniversary of E's death. It is hard to put into words all the emotions that come with the month of March. I saw a quote the other day that I liked "It never gets easier. You just get better.". I must say that I at least feel better prepared for the emotional drain of March. A friend and I have been getting some meals made ahead of time and put in the freezer. I am taking some extra time each day to just "be still" and present with my boys. It doesn't get easier. I still miss him with an ache that I can't possibly describe, but I have gotten better at handling the hurt.
Today, I walk in the room to find this picture on the floor. When I asked Grant what he was doing he responded with "I playing with Ethan, Mommy". I guess we are all missing him in our own way. I sometimes wonder how much and on what level Grant understands. I like to think he can "feel" his presence .
Stopped by church for a few minutes this morning to visit Ethan's fish. Something magical about that space, I always feel close to him there.
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